A Quarter Of His Life Is Gone, And What's He Doin Here?

So today I turned 25 a little over 8 hours earlier than the years past due to the time change here in Uganda. It’s weird thinking about how old 25 feels. Every other birthday has come and gone, and few of them have ever felt different than the year before- but this year feels much different. I feel really old. Ha ha ha…I’m not sure why, I just do. I’ve been thinking more and more this year how different my life has turned out since I dreamt about it as a small child. I never thought I’d still be unmarried at this age and without children. I didn’t think I would have just graduated from college. I didn’t expect anything that God has given me so far in my life. When I think about it- God really hasn’t given me anything I thought would be best for me in life- He has given me so much more. It’s true He hasn’t given me a wife or kids so far (and still might never give them!) but He has blessed me with a wonderful family that has always believed in me and my dreams. He has led my life in a different direction than I originally intended with education (6 years for a Bachelor’s degree isn’t the highlight of any life…)— but he has blessed me with so many absolutely amazing opportunities and experiences that I would not have otherwise had.

So though I may tend to lean to a depressing thought about how life isn’t where it was supposed to be- I should remember that God has brought me to this place. God has directed my path- and I am exactly where He wants me. I am doing exactly what He wants me to do. I know this because I believe in a God who has authored my very first breath, and He has continued to give me that breath of life up till now! (minus those 30 seconds in the Nile…ha ha)

I am blessed beyond my age, and I know I will continue to be blessed from here on out! I have no idea what the future holds- but I know that while God is in control (and He is…) I have nothing to fear, or regret, or feel like I’ve missed out on something in life- because I am being prepared daily for the works that God has prepared in advance for me to do! And so do all of you folks out there reading this!!!!! Yee Haw! J

Okay, that is enough nostalgia for the moment. We went up to Gulu, Uganda a couple days back to go check out the Invisible Children organization. A lot of us on the trip and thousands of young adults in the states help support this group to educate children and free the city Gulu from the horrible devastation caused by Joseph Coney. If you haven’t heard about this group, you can check them out at: InvisibleChildren.com You may have heard of them recently from their brief interview with Oprah about 2 months ago on her show.

We spent one of the nights out there in an IDP camp, which for those of you who don’t know what that means- Internally Displaced People. These people were forced to live in these camps for their safety and such. We spent the night with a wonderful host called Mama, lol. She was so amazing. It was great to be with her and her family in the camp. I watched the most beautiful sunset there, and shared a wonderful night under the stars telling children’s stories and playing the guitar. While I was out there I wrote this excerpt from my journal (I apologize for the length, but it’s my birthday, so deal with it!!!!) ha ha…anyway, here goes-

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Solace is something that every man longs to find- yet I am unsure as to whether or not it was ever promised to us. I have found my heart the quietest in times that seem the least likely. And also the most dangerous. Walking through the slums of Mathare and sleeping there, now sitting on this bench in Gulu at an IDP camp. Here is where I have found some of my most peaceful moments- and it is here where I have found a small piece of this thing called solace, or perhaps peace.
I think God created beauty to be mixed with danger- for the thrill of it is what makes it beautiful in some ways. Amongst intense suggering and pain, filth and sadness- comes beauty- comes joy- comes hope- comes peace.
I wonder if this is how You see our lives God. A beautiful world full of wonder and awe- something so amazing that it could only be created out of such intense love- yet it is tarnished at the same time with such filth and disgust- it is so disgusting it smells at times. It reeks and makes You want to cry because of the way we live in comparison to what You know is best- it makes You angry at times I bet. Yet it is Your compassion on us and Your love for us that will make You continue to encourage us to grow. It is because you see our potential that You discipline us daily- it is because of Your love for us that You never stop challenging and strengthening us.

Right?

Is it anything like that?

Can you stare at the earth- full of pollution and crooks, liars, beggars, gossipers, money hoarders, unfair treatment of human lives, killing of innocent children- all these things- and still find the beauty that You created it all to be?

I think You can. I think You have. I think You already see what it will be when we are reunited in Jerusalem- and that is why You love us. Why we are still here. Why You have sacrificed everything for what we are becoming.

For this- I am in awe of You.

I stand in wonder over Your ability to love.

God- I want to know my next move for You and Your Kingdom. I want to know where You want me- and I am ready to follow You wherever You wish to send me. I say this with huge fears about what this means for the future- but I promise that if You’re patient I will follow. I want to be Your disciple. I want to follow You. I wish that You will begin to show me Your plan for my next stop. Perhaps I am not ready yet- make that apparent to me. Maybe You’ve been waiting for me to say this for ten years or more- well then today is one of the happiest days of my life. Thank You God for bringing me this far to You with Your. Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ. As my first 24/25 years come to a close I am thankful for the grace, mercy, and discipline/love You have given me. I want it more and more.

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This week we have been in Kampala, Uganda and I have had an absolute blast out here! So far we have spent our time at an orphanage/boarding school called Destiny. It’s a wonderful school that lies up on top of this jungle hill and is the best education that Kampala schools can offer two times in a row.

Today for my birthday we went to the local US Embassy to celebrate the 4th with all of our local Americans here in Uganda! A good ole fashioned BBQ with a wonderful fireworks show and a dance party. My friends on the team went up to the announcer and had her bring me to the front as the entire embassy sang happy birthday to me. Then we went to a local Irish Pub called Bubbles and danced the night away to a variety of random American songs. It was a splendid day for sure! J

This is about all I have for the time being. It is no longer my birthday in Uganda, and I have to wake up pretty early for church tomorrow! I hope this finds all of you well!


The Cost of Being a Disciple

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'
"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out. "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."


Peaches.